I'm a teenage girl filled with insecurities, and this is where I let it out.
Welcome to my tumblr, filled with pictures of sex, love, cute animals, thinspiration, and things that make me laugh. This is me, 100 percent, no holding back. This is also me, whining a whole lot.
Well, it’s been at least a year since I’ve been on tumblr. Surprisingly, I still have 178 followers. I thought everyone would have unfollowed by now, haha. I logged back on to find something and got all nostalgic looking through the posts.
I got my tumblr summer before junior year in high school due the need to vent my heartbreak. I was depressed, anorexic, and struggling with suicidal thoughts. Not a good time. As more and more friends found my tumblr, it began to feel like less of a safe place. As an event in senior year caused my tumblr to be a laughing stock, I felt even more disconnected. Finally, in college, I was sad. I missed my friends although I was making plenty of new ones, and I was continuing to make bad decisions with men. I stopped using my tumblr just as I had started being in a relationship for the first time in a long time.
In a few short weeks, I will be starting my junior year in college. A lot happens in four years. I am 20 years old. I am in a serious relationship with a second lieutenant of the United States army, who is also a chemical engineer- which means he will make more money than I ever will even if I obtain my dream job. He has so much patience for a broken crazy girl, and loves me more than I could ever love myself.
I am in a pre-health fraternity, with brothers and sisters who truly care about me. They are my favorite thing about my university. I had to medically withdraw from school this semester, because of reasons of which are too private for tumblr. If not for the love and support of my fraternity, I might not have even been able to come back this following school year. People say greek life is shallow and a waste of time, but I am lucky enough to find people who I can call role models to follow.
I am in contact with the majority of the people of whom are dearest to my heart, although I have lost a number along the way. I miss managing sports, having guys friends who aren’t only interested in getting in my pants, I miss running into the arms of my childhood best friends whenever I’m having a bad day, I miss walking down the hall and seeing smiling, familiar faces, and I miss being able to massage people everywhere I go. Although junior year was a fucking train wreck and senior year ended on a terrible note, I loved high school with all my heart. I like having years to smile back on.
In another four years, I hope to be alive- first off. I hope to be in the midst of physical therapy school. I hope to be engaged to my current boyfriend. I hope to still be in contact with a number of my friends from back home, as well as my friends from college. I hope to look back on the past years as fondly as I do now. Goodbye tumblr.