I’ve realized I’ve come to use boys as a source of happiness. I feed off them and use them to generate my will to live and joy. At this very moment in time, there are a few ways I could let my feelings fall. However, I don’t know if I should. I’m keeping my emotions tightly in check because I don’t want to accidentally fall for yet another boy who has no intention of catching me. I’m so sick of falling on my face. At the same time, without someone to smile about and dress up for, I wake up everyday a little less than content. Life just doesn’t have the same taste and magic without that special someone. So tell me, dear followers, either:
Take a risk. Let go of my heart and let it roam, free to like whoever it wants. Possibly get hurt really badly for the fourth consecutive time, but be deliriously ecstatic for a period of time.
Play it safe. Hold on tight and try my best not to give any boy special attention. Never get hurt, but continue each day without purpose contently- with that empty hole in my chest. Not happy, yet not exactly sad, not really sure what you are.